You surely remember the Coca-Cola commercial with Mean Joe Green in it. It aired during the Superbowl in 1980Â but still goes down as one of the best commercials of all time. Coca-Cola has had some of the best. How many of you can recite the words to “I’d like to teach the world to sing — in perfect harmony?” (everybody join in now!) Of course, I like the Diet Coke ‘hunk’ commercials, too. Call me shallow if you must. I like the Budweiser frogs and Geico’s gecko commercials as well!
 Have you ever wondered what a Scooby snack tastes like? I always thought it looked like a yummy little peanut butter cookie. These last few days I’ve had ‘lots’ of time to re-live my own days of watching Saturday morning cartoons. My little one has been at home sick and has seized control of the TV remote.  I’ve come to realize they just don’t make cartoons like they used to. At least Scooby Doo and the Flintstones have withstood the test of time. Those were my favorites — and ones even my little guy likes to watch now.  Which ones were your faves?
 And really — what’s up with a bunch of people who are so un-alike, cruising around all over the country in the Mystery Machine with no real jobs? I’ll sign off with the classic line at the end of every Scooby episode.  “And to think I would have gotten away with it — if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids!”   �
 One phone call you never want to get mid-morning on a school day is from your child’s teacher. It seems my little man had 100.1 degree fever and was lethargic, wouldn’t eat and was wrapped up in a blanket. So went any grand vision of getting some ‘mommy time’ and indulging in a pedicure.
 Now, at this point, if you’re eating or have a weak stomach — you might want to quit reading.
 So I go to pick him up and we go to the doctor — the third time in a week and a half, by the way. After getting another prescription, we’re on our way home and you hear the unmistakable sound of puke — everywhere! Not once but three times. All over him, his booster seat and my car.
 So we throw his clothes off in the driveway and put him in the shower. Later that night, as we were lying down, Ralph comes back for a visit. My boy almost made it to the toilet — almost. Then, as we were lying down … yep. Another wave. This time it was on me, the sheets … you get the picture. After cleaning us up and changing the sheets, we lie back down. Just as we’re getting some shut eye, he wakes back up — the virus has moved to the lower GI tract. After getting up for the fourth time for a clean pair of pajama bottoms, I step on something mushy. In my sleepy delirium, I picked it up. Let’s just say it wasn’t a Milk Dud!
 Today has been spent scrubbing toilets, the carpet, my car, washing sheets and pajamas … you get the drift. Maybe once I finally get this place cleaned up I can at least get soak in some bubbles. Oh, wait. That’s where I threw the dirty towels last night. Never mind. I have to go. I have a bath tub to scrub.
 Daddy always said he should have named me Grace. Not because I float across the room as if I’m walking on air, but rather if there’s something to bump into, trip on or spill — I’m your girl.
  Just the other day I was covering a Law Day luncheon, where there were lots of ’suits.’ You’ve been in that kind of situation — where you really have use your good manners and act like you’re a graduate of the Emily Post school of etiquette.
 Well, as I was putting the microphone on the podium — saying hello to some judges, the police chief and U.S. Attorney — I tripped over the flag pole. I did a little ballerina jump — hoping no one really noticed. At least ‘that’ time I landed on my feet. I’ve landed ‘elsewhere’ in times past.Â
 Then, at the table, it was a tight squeeze. And when I reached for the Splenda I dragged my sleeve across my photographer’s roast beef and gravy. (Sorry Trey!) I tried to wipe it away and play it off. Then, I go to cut a cherry tomato and squirt! Right on my chest. Nice!
 Needless to say, that suit is at the dry cleaners now. They just laugh at me there. Every time I come in, we have to go over all my clothes and stick ’stain’ arrows all over them to mark the spots that need “special attention.”  I should probably get an award for being their best customer.
 No, I’m not trying to ask you that question ‘personally,’ but pretty soon that won’t be a question directed only toward women. The tables will one day turn, now that reseachers in Oklahoma are working on “the pill” for guys. It was in the news today. It’s still years away from being available for prescription … but it begs these questions:
1. Would men actually get on the pill?
2. Would women trust her man who says he’s on it?
3. Who’s the more trustworthy sex to ‘follow the directions?’ (lol) Â Â
  Today a girl, who’s believed to be younger than 18, gave birth to a son in San Marcos, TX. Not so unusual, you say — given today’s teen pregnancy rate. Well, she’s apparently just the latest among more than HALF the teenage girls at Yearning for Zion polygamist compound in West Texas having babies. In fact, a Child Protective Services spokesman says of the 53 teen girls — between 14 and 17 — 31 of them have given birth or are currently pregnant. The DNA results may not be in to prove who the fathers are and the age differences between the men and their brides, but I’d say the picture is certainly becoming clearer — and damaging for the sect’s case. I just wonder what kind of defense you put on to dispute those numbers?   Â
 True, he’s innocent til proven guilty but I’m having trouble finding sympathy here. Am I wrong? There’s a Bentonville, Arkansas, inmate who’s awaiting trial for murdering a guy and setting his house on fire. Well, he’s complaining because of the jailhouse menu — or the lack thereof.
 You see, Broderick Laswell weighed 413 p0unds when he was jailed back in September. He’s now down to 308 lbs and is not happy about his weight loss! He’s even filed a federal lawsuit claiming the jail doesn’t provide enough food. He said on several occasions he’d start to exercise and his vision went blurry and about an hour after each meal, his stomach starts growling and hurting.
 The meals — served by one of the world’s biggest food service providers — average 3,000 calories a day! Maybe he should be a little more worried about the murder charge he’s facing????
 Sometimes it just feels good to cry. Case in point, Saturday I found tears streaming down my cheeks while watching the end of “Eight Below,” a movie about two Antarctic explorers who had to leave their team of sled dogs behind. The pack of Siberian Huskies then managed to live on their own for six months in the bitter cold before being rescued. I’m a sucker for a happy ending. So what movies have been your favorite tear-jerkers? And guys, that includes you too. I know there’ve been a few that have even made the most manly of men get misty-eyed. Let me hear ‘em!
 Here’s a story that has a lot of people fired up.
 It seems 39 factory workers at Whirlpool Corp. in Indiana have been suspended without pay after they were seen smoking outside. Apparently they’d all claimed to be non-smokers to get a $500 discount on their company health insurance. They ‘may’ get fired now.
 At one Michigan business, workers were told to quit smoking — even at home — or risk getting the ax. And Alaska Air screens all job applicants for nicotine.Â
  There’s no question health care costs are through the roof. But there are a lot of “what if’s” about these stories. What if someone is a social smoker — only lighting up when they’re out having drinks with the boys or girls? Does that qualify as being a smoker? Maybe a person starting smoking ‘after’ starting a job and filling out the health benefits questionnaire. What about a can of Skoal or pouch of Red Man? Does that count? Should it?
 One thing’s for sure. I’m in BIG trouble the day I have to admit that I indulge every once in a while on a Fatburger with rings. Or a milkshake. Or chile rellenos with cheese sauce. Or … �
 The Strand Theatre will be smokin’ Sunday night when a collaboration of musicians get together to jam in honor of guitarist Buddy Flett.
 Buddy contracted viral encephalitis in February and has had a hard road to hoe. But he’s making a come-back. In the meantime, Shreveport’s native son Kenny Wayne Shepherd will be in the ‘Port Sunday to headline “A Benefit for Buddy Flett.” Buddy actually played on Kenny Wayne’s recent DVD and had been on tour with him. There will also be the likes of Hubert Sumlin, Miki Honeycutt, The Bluebirds, Jerry Beach and many more performing. For more info about the benefit concert, go to www.thebluebirds.net.
